The inner voice in me,unlike yours does not preach.Its simply programmed to tell me when i need to do my laundry or call home or maybe burn some calories.
When it tells me that i've been lazying around for a while,Id put on a shirt, denim and tighten my belt to such an extent that it wouldnt fall even if an annoying school kid decided to hang onto it.
When it tells me that i've been lazying around for a while,Id put on a shirt, denim and tighten my belt to such an extent that it wouldnt fall even if an annoying school kid decided to hang onto it.
Everything buckled,id head to the local train station to try and get onto a local train.This,i believe is the most effective workout of all,especially when the platform ticket is as low as Rs.2
If you are new in town,you'd probably assume that the people out here dont go to work and simply keep switching trains all day.The crowd on trains
usually reminds me of the holocaust scenes from Schindlers' List.
You might even force yourself into believing that the world is to end that evening.I did.
The crowd is funny too.Everytime a man with facial hair and a cap puts his bag on the overhead compartment,all the eyes on the train would be on him until he picks up the bag and gets off the train.
mumbaikars,for all you know,he might just have a couple of pairs of boxers he has'nt washed in a while.Now that is most unlikely to blow up.
Bombay,i believe is the only place where you cannot possibly find a bite without Pav(Bread).Vada Pav, Batata Bajia Pav,Kanda Bajia Pav,Samosa Pav,Maska Pav,Burji Pav,Misal Pav,Pav Pakoda,Pav Bhaji and the list just goes on.
Mumbaikars eat pav all day.Though i love my Puttu And Kadala curry back at home ,i'd be equally happy if you served me some cereal and orange juice or Puri Bhaji and Chai or even a cup of strong black coffee and two slices of bread along with a bullseye with or without the yolk in place.(That probably says how modest i am!)
Another issue here in Bombay is finding a place that serves Beef.
Even with a million animals in the world that serve no purpose to mankind whatsoever,us indians had to pick the cow to be our god.HOLY COW!You couldve easily picked a Tiger or a Horse or a even a Pug for that matter,but u had to pick something that's probably much more delicious that any of the above.
Fellow Indians,if Cow is your god, I EAT YOUR GOD!
But if i was to believe in a superpower,id probably worship my dabbawala(lunch box delivery man).He is probably the superman in the neighbourhood.The person works all throughout the year and serves even if you call up an hour prior to your lunch time.This seems quite impossible to me.I keep telling people that i wouldve stayed in school if i had to work 6 days a week and 8 hours a day and heres' a bloke who doesn't take a break.I have my doubts as to whether he has 15 wives,but i consider it ill mannered to enquire.
Bombay is full of surprises.If you step into a Bar and decide to enjoy a smoke along with your drink,that huge bartender with a dragon tattoo on his right hand and a scar on his left cheek would show up to tell you that you aren't supposed to.This is something that i dont understand.A bar is not a place where an old woman with a heart condition is likely to show up dyingly to catch her breath.One does not go into a bar for yoga or meditation either.People drink in a bar and consumption of alcohol is injuries to health anyways.So,you wouldnt die because the bloke at the table right across lights a cigarrette.
So,its a sunday and you decide to catch your favourite movie,well,Bombay doesnt fall short of surprises there too.This is infact the lamest stunt of them all.Right when you have settled down on that soft seat with a stupendous pack of popcorn,tattling with your friend about the chic in front,a very fmiliar song would start playing and all the folks would jump onto their feet.You all confused over the act would have the whole glass of coke all over your pants while getting up,identifying the song to be the national anthem.
A close friend and I have been called a wide variety of names because we simply remain seated while the others show respect to the country by standing up for the national anthem with spicy samosas in hand.
Strangely,despite all the mess here,people absolutely love the place.I wonder why.I'd probably understand once' i leave this place,go back home,put on some weight and decide to hit the gym.
Cheers! :)
The Chauvinist
