Every time i get an email,i pop it up and read it from the bottom of the page.I do not really get any exciting PS messages as such. Infact the only time i was enlivened by one was when my Boss sent me an email 15 days prior to my pay day in which the PS said that my month's salary was credited to my bank account.The excitement depleted away as i scrolled up the page and read the header "Termination letter".
Reading an email from the bottom of a page lets you live longer.Not that i have any renowned University statistics to prove my statement right, but then, you do not need proof when u have instinct.
If its one of those emails that threatens the reader to sent it to 10 other people in 10 minutes or turn impotent and die in a road accident the coming week,I'd simply hit the 'move to trash' button.The funda is,unless and until you've read the mail,the curse doesn't really apply to you.
With all my unhealthy habits,I'm sure I'll be able to attend funerals of all the lads i know who hit the gym every morning and read their emails top to bottom.
With Facebook being vogue,the no. of deadly messages being sent to me was on the fall and i was starting to read mails from the top.However,for me,Facebook photo tags supplanted these FWD messages.I wasn't really bothered until my crush,who considered me to be a super-cool fellow looked me up on it and stalked my photographs.She was hoping to see me with my friends,me at a party,me at some sports,me looking cool,me looking hot and what not.But all she ended up finding was roses,dogs,cats,pink thong,peoples' crotch and my name being tagged onto a million things i wasn't even related to in any of the lives' iv had so far(except for a pair of floral boxers i actually owned).This wasn't however the reason as to why she stopped talking to me.When browsing through my photographs,she figured out that a lot of guys had tagged me in their portraits and display pictures,quite a few in which they were even shirtless,showing off the abs or whatever.
These where men who were thanking me for clicking those photographs or simply asking me to check them out. When a man compliments a man,its manly,but when a shirtless man compliments a man who likes wearing florals ,its clearly misunderstood.
It was around this time that i decided to get a tablet for myself.It was fun.I could work on it,watch movies,check my email,make phone calls and what not.My friend was boasting about how he got to know about all the offers in town through text messages.I decided to give it a shot and activated this fancy thing with my service provider that let me know on hot deals.
5 minutes into activation,i received the first message.Clicking it open i was shown pictures of fancy lingerie that was being offered at half price.Next i received a message about how i had won a million dollars from a KEEP DREAMING YOU MORON incorporated.Following it up, i was asked to send $2000 as processing fee in order to get the prize money.I reverted with a message asking them to keep half the money and send me the latter.That was however the last piece of communication from their side even though i cut my share down to $2000.I didn't stoop below that,I have what they call dignity.
Then i started receiving messages from a spa.They kept sending me messages for over a week stating that i could avail special discounts for some late night Male to Male massage.This i assume was sent to me by someone who had checked my Facebook account.
Then there was 'whatsapp'. This i found to be fun.You could text people,send them pictures,music and videos for free!Great idea!but the lad who came up with it also squeezed in an option for people to know whether the messages' sent 've been received and when the user was last seen online.This was a very annoying feature.People would call up just to ask why there wasn't any reply for the last lame joke that was sent an hour past midnight.That's like a call centre guy asking why you don't want their "Flash Blue Side String".-You ought to Google that!
Cheers!
The Chauvinist.
