Sunday, October 20, 2013

AND ANOTHER DROID by THE CHAUVINIST




I know someone who drys his socks in a microwave oven,he isnt particularly disgusting.Infact he has a separate container for the purpose.But i don't think thats what they make microwave ovens for.Its exactly the case with phones these days.

A friend of mine who has just bought a phone for a price that made my eyes pop out,claims that its not just a phone but a smartphone.He said it could capture high resolution pictures, store upto a hundred thousand songs ,help you navigate back home even if you were a lil too drunk and a lot of other features that were told to me probably in minion language.


FIrst off,I clearly do not get how or why a phone should have any of these features!Its a phone for heaven sake!Graham bell made the damn thing to make calls.He clearly didn't want a device to listen to music or take pictures,because as far as he was concerned he had a camera and a gramophone.

I happened to meet someone else with yet another fancy phone that looked the same (but not as expensive) as my first fancy phone friends phone.He started to boast about his phone too and to my utter surprise,it had much of all the features as my first fancy phone friends phone.
When I pointed this out,my fancy phone friend told me that all these phones shared the same platform/operating system and were available in various sizes and prices.He also said that all these phone users could get about a million different applications on their devices.These applications were particularly amusing. When one could tell you what your baby was crying for,the other acted as a  mosquito repellent and another one would tell you when you had to use the restroom and the list had 3 less than a million more to offer!
This wasn't making sense to me.It sounded like Rolls Royce offering mid size economy class cars with or without air conditioning, roll down windows ,push back seats and a cassette player .


I thought they must be real tech savvy people unlike me,because one just wouldn't  spend so much on a device if it wasn't of utility.So i started to observe their phone usage patterns.They definitely were using the music player,but out of the hundred thousand songs,all they listened to were about 100 tracks.The camera,both front and back where used to click pictures for Facebook when it could actually be blown up to billboard size pictures.Out of the million apps that were installed on the device,the only ones being used were a text messenger and an alarm clock.The battery hardly lasted for 8 hours even with an app called battery saver.

My phone doesn't have a music player, radio,camera,gps,internet or anything fancy because i have devices that serve these purposes.My phone is dual sim,can save unto 500 contacts,it has an alarm function,has around 10 ringtones including yankee doodle and jingle bells and it is has a very good built quality because it works even though my cousins drop it  every time they play "catch catch"(i dont mean an app)with it and the battery lasts for about 4 days!
My fancy phone friend thinks i should get the latest version of the fancy phone that he bought a month back.The only difference i could spot in the new fancy phone was an alphabet added to the end of the predecessors name and a heavier price tag.
I really don't think i'l get a smartphone!I'm more than happy being just a smart guy with a phone.


Cheers!

Chauvinist