My friendship circle has a very small radius.My cousin in grade 2 probably has more friends.Ofcourse he is as stubborn and annoying as yours,but he can name all the players in the cricket team.
Somehow,I fail to posses respect for the tradition of cricket worship in my country.This unfortunately,has a lot of consequences.
Everytime i go to a gathering,i'd have to pour myself a drink and sit with a bunch of Men who stare at,eh,goats.
Sit and stalk women,thats pretty much all I'd do at a party.Not that I was complaining,but after a while you start to lose interest,especially when most of the women present are triple your size,twice your age or have boyfriends who look like they've come out of The Expendables movie.
I was itching to make friends.I considered walking upto a group and squeezing into their talk.I had done that once,the gentleman were busy talking about how certain rules of the game should be altered when I jumped in and stated how unfair the buckminister rule is,only later to realize that it was actually called the duckward lewis method.They got to know that i didnt know either of the two and I ended up losing the title of the genius/intellectual I had earned by staying away from the common man's conversation.
The situation demanded me to formulate a new strategy to make friends.After an hour, a couple of drinks and a "Eureka" I headed to the loo.
People talk about how they make friends at the bar,spa and theater.A world full of strangers and I was in a loo to make friends.
My first victim walked in and headed to a pot.I decided to go up to one that was a few away from his.I greeted him and we kickstarted a conversation.He was a good talker and pretty brainy too.Soon there was a problem.I had finished leaking,but he hadnt.This put in a dilemma,you wouldnt leave a friend at a dinner table when he isnt done,but then how long can you linger around for?
After washing our hands we shook them and I asked him to carry on as I had more people to meet.I spoke with a lot of men,and the last friend I made for the day was the washroom cleaner whom I had brought into a conversation by intentionally toppling the trash bin over.
I was convinced that the only method to possibly meet everybody at a party was to stay in the loo.I was on the top of the world for inventing this fabulous technique.I felt like Mark Zuckerberg.
The bubble burst soon as I opened the mens door to see the womens' door right across.
Ever since,I've been trying to develop a technique to make friends with women,but I havent made much of progress I must admit.
My technique I should say works only with men.This is because a guy wanting to use the loo would excuse himself and walk into one,whereas a woman would go to her girlfriend and then the friend would call her friend and then there would be a dozen chics giggling all the way to the washroom,like a bunch of annoying schoolgirls on a field trip. Offlate I've been working hard to tweak my technique to tackle the issue.The biggest obstacle however is that I dont know what a womens' room looks like.I've never been to one,not as yet.
Cheers :)
The Chauvinist
Somehow,I fail to posses respect for the tradition of cricket worship in my country.This unfortunately,has a lot of consequences.
Everytime i go to a gathering,i'd have to pour myself a drink and sit with a bunch of Men who stare at,eh,goats.
Sit and stalk women,thats pretty much all I'd do at a party.Not that I was complaining,but after a while you start to lose interest,especially when most of the women present are triple your size,twice your age or have boyfriends who look like they've come out of The Expendables movie.
I was itching to make friends.I considered walking upto a group and squeezing into their talk.I had done that once,the gentleman were busy talking about how certain rules of the game should be altered when I jumped in and stated how unfair the buckminister rule is,only later to realize that it was actually called the duckward lewis method.They got to know that i didnt know either of the two and I ended up losing the title of the genius/intellectual I had earned by staying away from the common man's conversation.
The situation demanded me to formulate a new strategy to make friends.After an hour, a couple of drinks and a "Eureka" I headed to the loo.
People talk about how they make friends at the bar,spa and theater.A world full of strangers and I was in a loo to make friends.
My first victim walked in and headed to a pot.I decided to go up to one that was a few away from his.I greeted him and we kickstarted a conversation.He was a good talker and pretty brainy too.Soon there was a problem.I had finished leaking,but he hadnt.This put in a dilemma,you wouldnt leave a friend at a dinner table when he isnt done,but then how long can you linger around for?
After washing our hands we shook them and I asked him to carry on as I had more people to meet.I spoke with a lot of men,and the last friend I made for the day was the washroom cleaner whom I had brought into a conversation by intentionally toppling the trash bin over.
I was convinced that the only method to possibly meet everybody at a party was to stay in the loo.I was on the top of the world for inventing this fabulous technique.I felt like Mark Zuckerberg.
The bubble burst soon as I opened the mens door to see the womens' door right across.
Ever since,I've been trying to develop a technique to make friends with women,but I havent made much of progress I must admit.
My technique I should say works only with men.This is because a guy wanting to use the loo would excuse himself and walk into one,whereas a woman would go to her girlfriend and then the friend would call her friend and then there would be a dozen chics giggling all the way to the washroom,like a bunch of annoying schoolgirls on a field trip. Offlate I've been working hard to tweak my technique to tackle the issue.The biggest obstacle however is that I dont know what a womens' room looks like.I've never been to one,not as yet.
Cheers :)
The Chauvinist
