After having watched Quentin Tarantinos Pulp Fiction,I wanted to be a contract killer.However,my dad didn't quite get my job description.I failed to convince him I must admit.I was still friends with the fat guy with thick specs who had poked me on my rear with a compass.So people had their doubts as to why I was hell bent about being a contract killer.
I was pretty convinced about the fact that real men were killing people.Eastwood,Connery,Stallone,Arnold Schezwan nigger(or however thats spelled) everybody.One way or the other they all were doing the same thing ,killing.
I had to grow up to be a high school boy to realize that my dream wasnt quite possible.
Most of the guys where athletes or into some kind sport.This gave them shape and me shame,i wasnt part of any.I could beat somebody at ludo or even monopoly,but running behind a ball with a dozen other people who have muscles you could BBQ on sunday and still have leftovers till next weekend wasnt happening at all.
I assured myself that sports was the real deal.I felt nothing close to a man.The only people I could connect with in a game were the cheergirls.Both them and I were doing pretty much the same thing,ofcourse I wasnt wearing miniskirts.
My belief lasted till the guys team lost to the girls team in the finals.
I started to take karate classes to finally get the feeling of doing something manly.
I spent most of my weekends watching Martial arts movies and trying them out in front of a mirror.I was all set to become bruce lee,it'd take a month or so I knew,but then I was finally going to be a real man.Bruce never happened,it was all bruises.Apparently there were more women taking self defence classes than men.The assault demos would require the guys in the class to be rapists or psychos trying to assault women.This was ofcourse a hypothetical situation,but my female partner didnt think so.
I wasnt surprised as to why men turn into psychos.
When every bloke started to get 6 pacs,i was tempted too.I rang up a friend who already had one(or six.) and decided to meet him for coffee.
He started off with workout sessions and supplements.It didnt seem all that hard.He then went onto the diet plan,i asked for the check.
I then took up smoking,that was manly.I was liking it.It wasnt all that hard. I started to take green tea as well,i had read in a magazine about the benefits of antioxidants for smokers.The very next issue mentioned how smoking affects the sperm count,I quit.
Eventually I got the manliness mantra.Baldness it is.A real man would go bald.
Scientifically right too.
Clint Eastwood is bald,so is hard to die man Bruce Willis.Connery,Jason Statham,Vin Diesel,Steve Jobs,all the real men!
I have a hairline thats depriciating like the pre android phones in the market.Im getting manlier by the day!
My long haired guy friend wasnt pleased at all.He brought up Jackie Chan.He claimed none of the bald men could do what Chan does .True,exactly why I dont consider him human.
Cheers :)
The Chauvinist
I was pretty convinced about the fact that real men were killing people.Eastwood,Connery,Stallone,Arnold Schezwan nigger(or however thats spelled) everybody.One way or the other they all were doing the same thing ,killing.
I had to grow up to be a high school boy to realize that my dream wasnt quite possible.
Most of the guys where athletes or into some kind sport.This gave them shape and me shame,i wasnt part of any.I could beat somebody at ludo or even monopoly,but running behind a ball with a dozen other people who have muscles you could BBQ on sunday and still have leftovers till next weekend wasnt happening at all.
I assured myself that sports was the real deal.I felt nothing close to a man.The only people I could connect with in a game were the cheergirls.Both them and I were doing pretty much the same thing,ofcourse I wasnt wearing miniskirts.
My belief lasted till the guys team lost to the girls team in the finals.
I started to take karate classes to finally get the feeling of doing something manly.
I spent most of my weekends watching Martial arts movies and trying them out in front of a mirror.I was all set to become bruce lee,it'd take a month or so I knew,but then I was finally going to be a real man.Bruce never happened,it was all bruises.Apparently there were more women taking self defence classes than men.The assault demos would require the guys in the class to be rapists or psychos trying to assault women.This was ofcourse a hypothetical situation,but my female partner didnt think so.
I wasnt surprised as to why men turn into psychos.
When every bloke started to get 6 pacs,i was tempted too.I rang up a friend who already had one(or six.) and decided to meet him for coffee.
He started off with workout sessions and supplements.It didnt seem all that hard.He then went onto the diet plan,i asked for the check.
I then took up smoking,that was manly.I was liking it.It wasnt all that hard. I started to take green tea as well,i had read in a magazine about the benefits of antioxidants for smokers.The very next issue mentioned how smoking affects the sperm count,I quit.
Eventually I got the manliness mantra.Baldness it is.A real man would go bald.
Scientifically right too.
Clint Eastwood is bald,so is hard to die man Bruce Willis.Connery,Jason Statham,Vin Diesel,Steve Jobs,all the real men!
I have a hairline thats depriciating like the pre android phones in the market.Im getting manlier by the day!
My long haired guy friend wasnt pleased at all.He brought up Jackie Chan.He claimed none of the bald men could do what Chan does .True,exactly why I dont consider him human.
Cheers :)
The Chauvinist
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